Broken doors are likely to cause problems
by seiko shadesssan
Summary: Mustang pisses Ed off, resulting in a broken door.


**Just a funny short Fic I wanted to write. Does angry sex fix everything? Roy and Ed. Enjoy! **

Edward was in a rage again. He stalked about the military building with his fists clenched, and mumbling obscenities to himself. Once in a while he gesticulated wildly and a soldier would stare at him with a confused face.

"Damn that… That fucking Colonel!" he roared. He sat down hard on a chair in the library and attempted to calm himself down. About 10 seconds later, he jumped up and headed to Mustang's office.

"What am I doing?" he asked himself. He surely wasn't choosing to do this himself. His arm twitched, the cold metal aching for destruction and alchemy. He was going to make sure that Roy would be in a coma for a few days.

Roy sighed and leaned back in his chair, lifting his feet onto the desk.

"That boy can really piss me off." He huffed as he crossed his arms and closed his eyes. He felt like taking a nap wouldn't hurt… As long as Hawkeye didn't catch him… His eyes drifted shut just as the door crashed open.

Ed's prosthetic fist punched the door open. Once he stepped into the room, he saw the Colonel fall off his chair onto the floor in surprise. It took him a few seconds to realize what was happening. Ed forgot his anger for a minute.

"What the fuck Mustang? Were you just sleeping? While you were supposed to be doing your papers?" he asked in an irritated voice.

"Eh… Ed, why the hell did you break my door…?" Roy asked rubbing his eyes. Fullmetal glanced back at the now ruined door.

"Oh… Sorry about that. You know my arm has spasms. Your door was just in the way when it happened." He retorted sarcastically.

"But excuse me, I need to go inform Riza that you were asleep on the job." He turned and started heading out, but he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Please… please don't Ed…" Roy's eyes shifted nervously.

"Please don't what?" Ed asked, annoyed.

"Don't tell her I was asleep… She'll kill me." Roy replied.

"Damn right she will." Ed said, anger returning.

"What? What would you rather have? Her rage, or mine?"

"Ah…"

"Exactly." Ed said and attempted to shrug Roy's hand off his shoulder and walk away.

"Wait, what was your rule again?" The colonel suddenly blurted out.

"What? Equivalent Exchange?" Ed answered looking back at him.

"Well, what if you don't tell Hawkeye…"

"You'd have to do something in return for me."

"What could I do…?"

"Well, that's a hard one, because I _did _come in here to kill you." Ed sneered. He turned and faced the older man. Suddenly Roy stepped forward closing the space between them. Ed's breathing suddenly quickened.

"What… What're you doing you bastard?" He said in a flustered manner.

"I'm repaying you… that's all." Said bastard replied in an angry voice as he closed the destroyed door somehow and slowly backed Ed into his desk. Fullmetal's eyes were large, his cheeks were reddening and his hair had fallen out of its usual attire. Things happened so fast. Suddenly he ended up on his back on the desk, his shirt open, and Roy between his legs.

"Wha-" he managed to say before the older's mouth descended hotly on his. He recoiled, but Roy caught his chin and forced him to respond. Ed's anger suddenly returned, and he refused to be the lower one in this… situation. He wrapped his arms around the colonel's neck roughly, and their tongues fought for dominance. Ed gasped, and pulled away, a strand of saliva was left between them.

"You loose." Roy said smugly, breathing hard.

"Y-you dick…" Ed panted.

"What? You want my cock?" Roy asked, playing innocence.

"What? N-no! That's not- Ah!" he shut up as Roy grinded against him hard.

"Oh god, you fucking bastard…"

"That's right, I'm fucking a bastard." Roy grinned, pure malice on his face. Ed groaned as Roy continued grinding against him. Without him noticing, Roy had eased the younger's pants down, exposing his hard member. A rough hand grasped it and started pumping. Ed's voice hitched and a loud groan echoed around the room.

"F-fuck…" he clawed at Roy's back, desperate to find purchase because he knew what was going to happen. He felt Roy's cock pushing against his inner thigh.

"God damn it Roy, fuck me already!"

"Are you sure you're ready for that shorty?"

"Shut the fuck up… Just… Just fuck me!" Ed growled, holding Roy's face in between his hands.

"Alright then…" He grinned. Ed's hands immediately went for Roy's fly. He unzipped it in haste. He glanced up at Roy, whose face was masked in amusement and lust. The colonel grasped the inside of Ed's knees and pushed them, so they were literally against his chest.

"Bite something, I'm going in dry." Roy sneered. Ed blushed, and pulled him down so their lips were touching. The colonel slowly pushed into him. Ed whimpered as the pain and pleasure burned through him.

"Oh fuck Roy." He groaned as he felt him move against his body, penetrating him deeply, slowly, and sensually. Roy started with a fast pace, earning loud moans, whimpers, and his name being whispered. The desk started rocking back and forth with them, forcing Ed to pull Roy closer.

"Oh god Roy… Fuck me hard…" Ed pleaded.

Roy quickened the force and pace until he was pounding Ed into the hard wood surface. Sounds of pleasure and pain leaked from both men's mouths. Breathing became labored, Ed's hands drew blood from the Colonel's back, and Roy bit his neck roughly. A hand started pumping Ed's cock again, and he let out some unintelligible sound that excited Roy even more.

"I'm gonna… C-come…" Ed whimpered shakily between Roy's thrusts. Roy decided to pull his best. He fucked Ed even harder until he hit that sweet spot. And at that precise moment, he gently squeezed the boy's cock. Ed shouted his name, and came all over his stomach, and Roy quickly followed with a moan, and fell on top of him.

A few minutes later, there was a knock at Roy's (broken) door.

"Colonel Mustang?" Riza Hawkeye's voice asked.

"Shit!" Roy pulled out and struggled to clothe himself. Ed did the same, but swore more as he realized how much he hurt. The door handle was being fooled around with, and eventually a weight was pushed against it, but it refused to budge.

"Roy!" said Riza angrily.  
"What the hell's going on in there?!" She shouted. Roy scrambled to his desk. Ed walked briskly to the door, and with his incredible strength, yanked the door open roughly. Rize stood in the doorway, not looking happy. Ed walked to her, and whispered something in her ear. Her face got even angrier. Roy suddenly felt suspicious of what he had just said to her. Ed glanced back at him, and the Colonel swore that there was a sneer on his face.

"So… You fell asleep on the job." Riza said. It wasn't a question. Roy's blood went cold, but he kept his mouth shut. Until he realized that's what Ed whispered to her. He stood up.

"FULLMETAL!" he roared. Ed cackled and started walking away. Roy totally forgot about the situation at hand. He leapt over his desk, and bolted after him. Suddenly, he felt a gun to his head. He froze, knowing what was best for his health. Ed strolled down the corridor sending him evil grins.

"I'm going to _fuck you up so hard_!" he shouted at him, earning a nudge of the cold barrel.

"I triple dog dare you!" Ed shouted back.

"I win this game Roy." He added in an amused voice. Roy's fingers were _very _close to snapping.


End file.
